I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
