We're facebook friends in real life
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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