Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
