i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
