I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Drake has all the answers
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
