My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
