Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
