His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
