i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
