You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
