My Higher Power is John Stamos
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
