Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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