on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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