You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
