Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
