Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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