i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
