awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
