she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
being pregnant is like rehab
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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