Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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