OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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