that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
