That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
