So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
