I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He did a backflip because drugs
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
