I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
