he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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