okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
