People with herpes should wear stickers.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
As shirtless as possible
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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