i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
