he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
