He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize