Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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