i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
