HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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