so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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