You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize