I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
