you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
