the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
and she was petting her beer can
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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