hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
