I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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