I didn't shave. On purpose
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
