absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
