her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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