why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
