He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
