im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
