At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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