Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
