are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
