who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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