is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
