she woke up with a sticky ear
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
