how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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