Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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