Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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