god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
you never un-have a 4some
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
