So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize