This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
