I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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