I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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