Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We need to feng shui this bitch.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
