i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
